Friday, August 16, 2013
Girl Friends: But First!
Okay, I think I'm beginning to make a little bit of sense about all this friendship stuff in my head so lets see if I can type it out to make sense here. Friendship is something I've always struggled with and I'm hoping that something I say here will encourage you in your relationships with your girl friends.
But first, there are one, maybe two other relationships that need to be addressed (depending on if you're married or not). Foremost in our lives should be our relationship with God. Then, our relationship with our husband (if we're married). And finally, other relationships.
It is a fact that when we seek God, when we desire Him, and put Him first in our lives, we will be fulfilled in a way that no one or nothing else can fill us. The Bible tells us that when we seek first the kingdom of God, everything else will be added. It also says in the Bible that we aren't to have other gods before Him. Anything- anyone- that is more important in our lives than God can become an idol to us. Also, when we are feeling lonely or sad or hurt, if we would look to God instead of to other people, we would find comfort and belonging and peace. He promises us that in His word. So, for those of you struggling, I urge you to go to the word first and to seek Him. Invest your time and energy in Him and he will bless you in ways you can't imagine. He will fill your heart so full you won't be able to contain it!
And then, with what's overflowing out of that heart, look at your other relationships, beginning with your husband. He should be your very best earthly friend. I am so thankful that my husband and I have the friendship that we do. In all honestly, there is no one that I would rather spend my time with (sorry gals!) I miss him the minute he walks out the door in the morning until I get to kiss his wonderful face when he gets home in the evening. We watch movies together, go on walks and eat ice cream together, he paints my toenails, we play games, we shop and go out to eat together. I couldn't ask for a better friend and husband!
Now let me just say this- not every marriage looks the same. Every couple is different. So don't compare. I think it's pretty special that my husband paints my toenails and will go shopping with me but some of you wouldn't want your husband going anywhere near your toenails with Cozu-Melted In The Sun polish and not every man has the patience and sense of style that it takes to make a good shopping companion. Invest your time and energy into finding things that you enjoy doing together, find a thing or two that he likes to do that you can tolerate and do that with him. I actually went fishing with Dan last summer, which I know he was thrilled about. And I didn't have a bad time, either.
When I am working on my relationship with God and seeking him consistently and all is good in husband land, life is pretty darn sweet. There is, however, still this underlying longing for time with girl friends. Sometime I think I long for friends because I'm lonely but I'm realizing now that I have friends, what I need is TIME with friends. When I asked people what the biggest struggle in friendships was, a lot of them answered "time."
I have a solution for this but I think I'm going to let you chew on what I've said here for a day or two while I form my thoughts on the rest and I will do another post over the weekend. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on what I have here so far. Please, leave a comment below if you'd like!
Have a great weekend!